Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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