hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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