problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
