You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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