At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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