At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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