So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
