peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
