It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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