I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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