I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
