possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
