NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
