I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
