i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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