I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
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