there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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