I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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