her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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