Need sex. Gaining weight.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
