no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
