If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
