That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
