Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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