Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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