I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
