i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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