the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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