she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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