Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
