Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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