Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
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he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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