Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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