so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
