Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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