Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day

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  (480): She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day http://tfl.nu/vsgx
  Replies (4) Good night (3515) Bad night (838)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order

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  (703): I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order http://tfl.nu/64q0
  Replies (11) Good night (1218) Bad night (4009)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.

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  (512): Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box. http://tfl.nu/wxom
  Replies (7) Good night (2932) Bad night (818)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done

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  (307): Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done http://tfl.nu/wa0d
  Replies (9) Good night (946) Bad night (4231)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.

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  (647): Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday. http://tfl.nu/6zuu
  Replies (3) Good night (2000) Bad night (610)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!

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  (434): A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!! http://tfl.nu/y0d6
  Replies (4) Good night (2209) Bad night (780)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again

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  (832): Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again http://tfl.nu/xwkk
  Replies (6) Good night (1153) Bad night (470)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  How's your threesome situation going?

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Optimistic

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  (401): How's your threesome situation going? (1-401): Optimistic http://tfl.nu/dkbu
  Replies (3) Good night (1659) Bad night (405)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?

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  (615): She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable? http://tfl.nu/4ysm
  Replies (7) Good night (614) Bad night (1100)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.

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  (541): Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad. http://tfl.nu/nlxo
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (1200)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.

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  (917): hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now. http://tfl.nu/iew9
  Replies (1) Good night (1215) Bad night (233)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.

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  (702): I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups. http://tfl.nu/t5hn
  Replies (3) Good night (253) Bad night (651)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.

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  (570): I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me. http://tfl.nu/ca7c
  Replies (7) Good night (501) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?

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  (937): Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no? http://tfl.nu/z665
  Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (139)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper

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  (318): she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper http://tfl.nu/ei3r
  Replies (3) Good night (545) Bad night (176)

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