Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?

  (408): View more from California

  oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no

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  (480): I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy? (408): oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no http://tfl.nu/w6ll
  Replies (4) Good night (1333) Bad night (3372)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.

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  (856): I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full. http://tfl.nu/pi6t
  Replies (106) Good night (5490) Bad night (1037)
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  (415): View more from California

  I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.

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  (415): I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic. http://tfl.nu/mbng
  Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (2712)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..

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  (905): I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact.. http://tfl.nu/kbzw
  Replies (42) Good night (922) Bad night (6087)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.

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  (225): walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans. http://tfl.nu/3s10
  Replies (24) Good night (5297) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  You realize it's finals week?

  (408): View more from California

  Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.

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  (559): You realize it's finals week? (408): Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first. http://tfl.nu/rjos
  Replies (19) Good night (6473) Bad night (1082)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave

  (703): View more from Virginia

  and miss being on the news....no way

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  (571): next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave (703): and miss being on the news....no way http://tfl.nu/gtrx
  Replies (21) Good night (8954) Bad night (1347)
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  (909): View more from California

  that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though

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  (909): that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though http://tfl.nu/jicr
  Replies (4) Good night (2298) Bad night (851)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum

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  (816): She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum http://tfl.nu/72bu
  Replies (11) Good night (2669) Bad night (1148)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester

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  (662): Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester http://tfl.nu/mao5
  Replies (7) Good night (1851) Bad night (863)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy

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  (440): I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy http://tfl.nu/cz6x
  Replies (12) Good night (593) Bad night (1020)
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  (845): View more from New York

  New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.

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  (845): New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work. http://tfl.nu/j014
  Replies (5) Good night (861) Bad night (393)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.

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  (254): I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits. http://tfl.nu/syex
  Replies (11) Good night (1258) Bad night (524)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You were silly, high, and chewing on things.

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  (519): You were silly, high, and chewing on things. http://tfl.nu/3bfw
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (213)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.

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  (765): Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere. http://tfl.nu/o1rp
  Replies (4) Good night (570) Bad night (135)

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