Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.

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  (630): Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes. http://tfl.nu/1voe
  Replies (7) Good night (716) Bad night (2048)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Come on the kid is gayer than me

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt

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  (757): Come on the kid is gayer than me (757): Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt http://tfl.nu/ov34
  Replies (11) Good night (3363) Bad night (888)
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  (818): View more from California

  I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie

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  (818): I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie http://tfl.nu/1ta9
  Replies (15) Good night (825) Bad night (3973)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.

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  (802): I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/89bk
  Replies (154) Good night (1714) Bad night (40851)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.

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  (205): Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable. http://tfl.nu/h65h
  Replies (4) Good night (3547) Bad night (1189)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.

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  (908): I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator. http://tfl.nu/xdgs
  Replies (4) Good night (1230) Bad night (2729)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.

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  (206): I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes. http://tfl.nu/wcm6
  Replies (11) Good night (1063) Bad night (2762)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.

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  (615): I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you. http://tfl.nu/xkmh
  Replies (1) Good night (1933) Bad night (1000)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.

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  (814): I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer. http://tfl.nu/ef74
  Replies (3) Good night (1523) Bad night (850)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies

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  (902): Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years. (1-902): Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies http://tfl.nu/48gx
  Replies (11) Good night (4282) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night

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  (703): Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night http://tfl.nu/l617
  Replies (3) Good night (590) Bad night (1761)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.

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  (843): It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying. http://tfl.nu/4qy7
  Replies (3) Good night (1038) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.

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  (214): I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/xu3y
  Replies (2) Good night (1217) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me

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  (228): Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me http://tfl.nu/rhlr
  Replies (8) Good night (839) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (984): View more from North Carolina

  I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?

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  (984): I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal? http://tfl.nu/izvy
  Replies (3) Good night (540) Bad night (256)

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