Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm at derby!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.

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  (847): I'm at derby! (847): The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time. http://tfl.nu/hrlc
  Replies (9) Good night (1425) Bad night (522)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"

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  (484): then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon" http://tfl.nu/oypv
  Replies (7) Good night (3992) Bad night (550)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously

  (503): View more from Oregon

  you are my hero

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  (971): Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously (503): you are my hero http://tfl.nu/me35
  Replies (20) Good night (4934) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class

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  (865): Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class http://tfl.nu/v047
  Replies (37) Good night (4809) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  We stopped her at 12

  (708): View more from Illinois

  12 shots? Or 12 midnight?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Which answer would freak you out less

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  (630): We stopped her at 12 (708): 12 shots? Or 12 midnight? (630): Which answer would freak you out less http://tfl.nu/edb4
  Replies (5) Good night (5705) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (+91): View more from India

  Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.

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  (+91): Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not. http://tfl.nu/eg4c
  Replies (34) Good night (1590) Bad night (3908)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  Every man deserves at least one moment like that

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  (703): She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis (1-703): Every man deserves at least one moment like that http://tfl.nu/aq3j
  Replies (28) Good night (12025) Bad night (1087)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday

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  (631): I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday http://tfl.nu/jy9z
  Replies (4) Good night (2380) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?

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  (303): do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie? http://tfl.nu/kg1j
  Replies (26) Good night (985) Bad night (3437)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them

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  (970): I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them http://tfl.nu/6llp
  Replies (9) Good night (1715) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?

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  (847): a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again? http://tfl.nu/tc2t
  Replies (10) Good night (1562) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.

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  (813): I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free. http://tfl.nu/oqtb
  Replies (3) Good night (1055) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.

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  (908): I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested. http://tfl.nu/1tav
  Replies (4) Good night (884) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.

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  (904): That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring. http://tfl.nu/5dnd
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything

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  (603): Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything http://tfl.nu/pfkq
  Replies (1) Good night (86) Bad night (147)

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