from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So I just went to clothing optional bar