So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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