quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
