I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
