Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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