girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
