Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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