Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
