my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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