he shaved USA in his pubs
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
