I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
