Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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