just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize