TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
