office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
