I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just gargled with NyQuil
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
