I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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