just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
