What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
