I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I am available for nakedness
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
