I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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